Analo-gee, I never thought of it that way...

     A few days ago I was pulling out of a parking lot to make a left turn and by accident, cut off another car. I didn't see her and said "i'm sorry", "my fault" and gestures to admit my fault. She held her angry gaze and even after all my admission of guilt, she would not let down her "mad dog" face at me. It was as if I had done her an inexcusable wrong and she was not going to let me off the hook that easy. 

Shortly after this happened I had picture in my mind of how sometimes we view God like that woman. We do something wrong, intentionally or not, admit our guilt and say sorry yet, think God still holds us to his wrath for our wrongdoing when in reality the admission of wrong and guilt is exactly what draws us nearer to God. I am thankful for that reminder. 

Now that I know I can... I will

God has been so good to me. It hasn't been until recently that I have been able to recognize this. Not because he wasn't good to me before but, because I was not fully surrendering and resting in his presence. Everything use to stipulate on how I would feel. I ignored problems, sank in denial and basically hid from any hint of pain. Now, I really do long for what is good and just and in considering all trials pure joy. I use to be limited by my fear of failure, not being good enough. I knew I was creative but just knowing doesn't create, creating creates. By the grace of God, I have adopted an attitude of even if I suck at it, i'll try. And come to find out, I am not as bad as I led myself to believe. God's perfect timing has left me speechless so much recently. He has put art in my heart. I am finding beauty and meaning in everything I come across. Experiences and revelations of a huge world come alive to me when I think about how endless the beauty of the mind and surroundings are. It's  comparative to a child walking through the gates of Disneyland. All is ahead, I just have to take the steps to enjoy the rides. Join me, wont you? :)